You Are Not Planting Seeds; You Are Turning on a Porch Light.
You Are Not Planting Seeds; You Are Turning on a Porch Light
Content Note
This post discusses suicide and warning signs. If you are in crisis right now, please call or text 988 in the U.S. For immediate danger, call 911. If you are outside the U.S., contact your local crisis services.
If you are reading this and feeling unsafe, please stop and reach out to 988 or your local emergency number right away. You do not have to go through this alone.
This post is a little heavier than our usual Comfortably Human vibe, suicide prevention month calls for some seriousness. My goal today is to share straightforward psychoeducation and clear away myths about suicide that keep hanging around, almost like the way Aquanet kept 80s bangs standing tall.
Discussing suicide is hard because people matter. All people. Unfortunately, not everyone feels that truth. Below I have broken down common myths and added some perspective that might help.
🚨 Busting myths
1. If we talk about it, we will make it worse.
Not true. Avoiding the conversation will not protect anyone. If someone is already thinking about suicide, asking directly does not plant ideas. It shows care and opens the door to safety planning. Being heard matters. That alone can reduce risk.
2. People who talk about it will not do it.
Sometimes talk is impulsive or a way of testing reactions. But suicidal talk is a warning sign and should be taken seriously. Treat it as a red flag, not a joke.
3. It is always about wanting to die.
Many people who consider suicide are trying to escape unbearable pain, not to end life as an abstract idea. Connection, understanding, and even small supports can shift that perspective. This is why uncomfortable conversations matter.
4. You have to be a professional to help.
You do not. Anyone can listen, ask directly, stay present, and help connect to resources. Professionals bring training. Loved ones bring presence. Both matter.
5. If they seem better, the risk is gone.
A sudden lift in mood can be misleading. Keep checking in. Simple follow ups such as “How are you today” remind people they are not alone.
6. Having a suicidal thought means you are suicidal.
Our brains are wired to search for quick solutions when we hurt, and sometimes that thought can pop up without intent to act on it. What matters is how frequent and how intense the thoughts are, and whether planning or intent is involved. Fleeting thoughts are not uncommon, but persistent or detailed thoughts are a sign to reach out right away for help.
🚨 Warning signs of suicide
These are not a checklist. Even one or two can be reason for concern. Trust your instincts.
Talking about wanting to die or researching ways to do it.
Expressing hopelessness, feeling trapped, or saying life has no purpose.
Saying you are a burden or that others would be better off without you.
Increasing alcohol or drug use to cope.
Withdrawing from friends, family, or usual activities.
Major changes in sleep, appetite, or personal care.
Acting recklessly or giving away prized possessions.
Dramatic mood swings, or sudden calm after long depression.
Signs of planning, such as collecting pills, buying a weapon, or writing a will.
Posting about death or sharing goodbye messages on social media.
🌱 Why This Matters
Risk factors such as past attempts, serious medical or mental health conditions, chronic pain, or access to lethal means increase longer term risk. Warning signs are more immediate and point to possible danger right now. Both deserve attention.
🛠️ What You Can Do
Ask directly: “Are you thinking about killing yourself” (asking does not plant the idea).
Stay with them and listen more than you talk.
Remove access to lethal means if possible.
Get help: call or text 988 in the U.S., or call 911 if there is immediate danger. Outside the U.S., contact local crisis services.
Follow up the next day. A simple “How are you ❤️” matters more than you think.
At the end of the day, talking about suicide is not about having all the answers. It is about showing up for people when it feels messy and hard. You are not planting seeds; you are turning on a porch light 🕯️, and sometimes that little bit of light is all someone needs to take the next step forward.
If today’s post does one thing, I hope it reminds you that your words matter. 💬 Ask the questions, keep the door open, and check in again tomorrow. People matter. All people. Including you. ❤️
And since this post leaned more PSA than usual, I will leave you with this in my best sing-song voice: “The more you know.” ✨
🌍 Suicide Prevention Hotlines
🇺🇸 United States
📞 Call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline)
🇨🇦 Canada
📞 Call or text 988 (Suicide Crisis Helpline)
🇬🇧 United Kingdom & Ireland
📞 Call 116 123 (Samaritans)
📱 Text 85258 (Shout, UK only)
🇦🇺 Australia
📞 Call 13 11 14 (Lifeline Australia)
🇳🇿 New Zealand
📞 Call or text 1737 (Need to Talk)
🏳️🌈 LGBTQ+ Support
🌟 The Trevor Project (U.S.): 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678
🌟 Trans Lifeline (U.S. & Canada): U.S. 877-565-8860 | Canada 877-330-6366
🌐 Worldwide
🔗 Find international hotlines at www.befrienders.org
Sources and further reading
Information for this post is drawn from the CDC, the Suicide Prevention Lifeline, and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.