Emotional Nutrition

Emotional Nutrition

You ever feel like your life has become one long to do list that magically replenishes itself, unlike the secret stash of Almond Joys you were convinced no one else knew about? 🍫 Or like you are constantly living in survival mode, just getting past one hurdle to have another take its place? 🏃‍♀️💨If so, you are not alone. I like to call this fun phase of life “adulting”… but is it? Is this actually what being an adult is supposed to feel like, or is that simply what we have been taught? What if there is more to life than feeling like a worn out shoe? 👟😩

Let’s talk about Emotional Nutrition. 🌱💛

Not the kind with calories or carbs. The kind that feeds your peace, your capacity, and your ability to not snap at someone because they breathed too loudly next to you. 😮‍💨 Emotional nutrition is the care and input that helps you feel grounded instead of depleted. Calm instead of overloaded. Present instead of running on fumes. ☕💆‍♀️✨

We talk a lot about taking care of ourselves. Sleep. Water. Vegetables. Sure. Important. 🥦😴💧

But emotional nutrition asks a different set of questions:

What actually fills you? 💗
What empties you? 🥀
And are you even checking anymore? 🤔

Or are you floating through life like a teenager forced to attend grandma’s birthday when the biggest party of the year is happening across town? 🎂😒🎉

Most of us are running around on emotional crumbs. 🍞
We settle for the leftovers of our own time, energy, and attention. We tell ourselves we will rest later. We will say no next time. We will choose ourselves once life slows down.

But life never really slows down. It simply rearranges the chaos. 🔄🧠

So emotional nutrition is about noticing what feeds you and what drains you.
Because not everything that looks like “self care” actually nourishes you. 💅✨

A nourishing moment feels like:
• Your nervous system unclenching 😮‍💨
• Your shoulders finally dropping from your ears 💆‍♀️
• One long, full breath 🌬️
• Actually enjoying yourself in real time 😌
• Laughing with your full chest 😂💖
• Dancing in the rain, not caring who sees you 🌧️💃🫶

A draining moment feels like:
• Tight chest 🫀
• Replaying conversations long after they end 🔁
• Being physically present but mentally checked out 🧠💭
• Saying yes while your insides scream no 😐
• Choosing the cute shoes over comfort and regretting your entire existence later 😬👠

We ignore these signals constantly. We swallow guilt and call it kindness. We show up because “it is easier” than dealing with disappointment. 😔

Except the person we end up disappointing most is ourselves. 💔
Why does our own name always end up last on our list? 📝

Emotional nutrition is practicing the art of choosing yourself in small, real ways. It does not have to be dramatic or radical. 🌿

It can look like:
• Ten quiet minutes in your car before going inside 🚗😌
• Leaving a group chat on mute 📵
• Not explaining yourself when you say no 🙅‍♀️
• Choosing the slower morning even if it means one less task gets done ☀️🧣
• Letting yourself enjoy something simply because you enjoy it 🦋💕

If it feeds your peace, it counts. ✨
If it drains your energy, it deserves a second thought. 🧃

There is honesty in emotional nutrition. A willingness to ask yourself what you need without apologizing for the answer. 💬❤️
There is no rule that your nourishment has to be impressive or productive. It just has to work. 🌱🌼

Maybe emotional nutrition today looks like sitting with your coffee before speaking to anyone. ☕😇
Maybe it looks like letting yourself cry without forcing a pep talk afterward. 😢🤍
Maybe it looks like laughing at something ridiculous simply because joy does not need to be earned. 🤣💫
Maybe it means wearing the comfortable pants to Thanksgiving because you want to eat well and breathe at the same time. 🦃😌🫶

Whatever it looks like, it belongs to you. 🤍

So before the week gets away from you, take a quiet moment and check in with yourself. 🌙

What is one thing that genuinely feeds you right now?
Time with someone who feels safe. Music. Silence. Fresh air. Your favorite mug. ☁️🎧💗

And what is one thing that is draining you?
A conversation you keep repeating. A responsibility taken out of guilt. A schedule that leaves no breathing room. ⏳😣

You do not need to change everything. You do not need to make announcements or declarations. 🤝
Just lean into what nourishes you a little more this week. 🌿
And gently step back from what drains you. 🍂

Small shifts count.
They add up.
They change things. 🌸

You deserve to feel full in the ways that matter most. ☕🦋🤍

So give yourself permission to watch old reruns of Punky Brewster or Adventures in Babysitting, while putting on your old acid wash jeans (if they still fit, great, if not, those jeans were a crime against humanity anyway) and swipe on your Lip Smackers chapstick like it is 1994. 💄📺✨👖

No guilt.
No explanation.
Just you finding pieces of yourself again. ✨

You’ve earned it. 🤍

Grief and The Empty Place Setting

Grief and the Empty Place Setting

There was once this boy who felt safe to me. No matter how unwise some of his decisions were or how sarcastic he got, he felt like home 💛. I don’t remember a time in my life when he wasn’t there, the good, the bad, and the in-between. He loved me purely for who I was, flaws and all (and trust me, he’d have no problem pointing them out 😏).

At one point he was my protector, my compass for which way was north 🧭. Somewhere along the way, he lost his. The roles switched, and suddenly I was the one trying to protect him. “You can’t always protect me, Forrest,” he once said. But that didn’t change anything. I still had a job to do. He needed me, or at least that’s how it felt.

I loved him with my whole heart 💔. It was one of the purest forms of unconditional love I’ll ever know. And then it was gone. One ordinary day, while unloading groceries, he was just… gone 🛒.

The sympathy lines started rolling in like a bad Hallmark marathon 💐📺. “A life cut too short.” “Such a tragedy.” Words people toss out like emotional bubble wrap, hoping they’ll keep the sharp edges from cutting too deep. But they don’t. They just make the silence louder 🤐. This wasn’t just a loss. It was the loss, the one that changes everything. “He’s in a better place.” I wanted to ask where exactly that place was, because I would’ve packed a bag 🎒💔. But this wasn’t a movie or a lesson in grace. This was loss in its rawest form, messy, unfair, and far too real 😔.

There were calls to make ☎️, feelings to feel 😭, responsibilities to carry 💼, people to comfort 🤝, all without the one person who made it all manageable. I remember looking at my family, broken in a way none of us were prepared for. It was the kind of loss that tore through everything. I didn’t realize it at the time, but he wasn’t just my glue. He was the glue for all of us. The day he died, I didn’t just lose my best friend. I lost my entire family 🕯️.

Nothing has been the same since. My world didn’t stop spinning, it just spun differently. Off balance. Dizzying 🌪️. It felt like that night in high school when the cops 🚨 showed up to the cornfield, spotlight on us, catching us mid-Boone’s Farm 🍓🍷 buzz. Exposed. Vulnerable. One wrong move from falling apart.

I’d love to say that after a decade things have gotten better. Some days they do. Other days it feels like it just happened. Whoever said time heals all wounds is a liar 🤥. Time doesn’t heal; it gives you new angles to look at the pain from. It doesn’t go away, it just shifts. I wish grief came with a manual, or at least a Lisa Frank planner and a scented gel pen so I could color-code my meltdowns 💅📒🌈.

Especially this time of year. The holidays 🎄. The season of family, food, and joy, where the empty chair at the table feels louder than the laughter around it 🍽️. I’ve reached the point where there isn’t even a place setting anymore. Half my family avoids the topic, pretending it’s not there 🙈. The other half keeps his name alive, tells stories, remembers 🕯️. Both sides hurt in their own ways. I just sit there trying to emotionally regulate while the Green Bean Casserole stares at me like it knows too much 🥴🥘. I haven’t figured out which camp feels more like home yet.

Why am I telling you this?
A) It helps me process some things (and yes, I’m calling it “work”) 💻🫠.

2) Because we all have an empty place setting somewhere. Some are right in front of us. Others sit quietly in the corner of our minds 🪞. And for many of us, especially around the holidays, that missing piece gets heavy again, no matter how much time has passed ⏳.

As the holidays creep in 🎅, I think it’s important to say this out loud: grief doesn’t take time off. The lights, the noise, the obligations, all of it can make that ache sharper 💡🎁💔. Whether you’re more Grinch (misunderstood and over it 😤), Rudolph (invited but still the punchline 🦌), Bumble (left out entirely 🧊), or Buddy the Elf (trying to make everyone love each other and eat all the sugar 🍭), you’re valid in however you need to navigate the season.

If that means being alone with your memories, that’s okay 💭. If it means keeping it together until you’re alone, that’s okay too. Whatever your flavor of coping is, that’s what you need right now 💗. Grief doesn’t care about tradition, etiquette, or what the rest of the table expects. It just asks to be felt, and maybe, for a moment, remembered 🕊️.

Maybe the truth is, there’s no right way to handle that empty seat. Some years, I leave it untouched. Other years, I pile food on it like he’s just running late 🍗. Either way, I still talk to him, sometimes out loud, sometimes just in my head, and occasionally with a little wine 🍷 involved.

Because grief doesn’t always mean sadness. Sometimes it’s laughter at a memory that used to make you cry. Sometimes it’s talking to an empty chair and realizing it still feels like a conversation 💬. And if you find yourself crying into the mashed potatoes this year, that’s fine too. Salt’s salt 🥲🦃. We’re all just doing the best we can with too many emotions and not enough gravy 🫠.

So, if you’re out there trying to make it through the holidays, do whatever you need to do, whether that’s journaling, ugly crying, or blasting Alanis Morissette in your minivan 🎶🚗. Healing is healing, even if it’s set to 90s alt-rock 💿.

And if all else fails, remember this: grief may not come with Lip Smackers-level shine 💄, but at least it’s real. And let’s be honest, Dr. Pepper flavor still slaps 🥤😉.

Whether you’re holding space at the table, filling the silence with stories, or just trying to get through one more holiday playlist without crying in the car, know this: you’re not doing it wrong. You’re doing it human 💛. Comfortably Human, to be exact💛.

Grief and Slinkys

Let’s be honest, grief is rude 😒. It does not care if you have waited an entire year to see the New Kids on the Block reunion tour 🎤 or if you are simply trying to enjoy a brand-new episode of your favorite guilty pleasure 📺. It just shows up. No warning. No invitation. No consideration for your plans 🚪.

Most of the time, we do not even have the space for it. The loss happened days, weeks, months, years, sometimes decades ago ⏳. So why now? Why today? Why can I not stop crying 😭? The feelings rush in fast and heavy. Overwhelming. Frustrating. Infuriating 🤬. And yes, deeply sad 💔.

Over the past few weeks, we have talked about how society can make us feel like our grief has an expiration date ⛔ and how grief often invites its friends to the party 🎭. Now we are adding a new twist. Grief loves to swing the door open and walk in whenever it feels like it 🙄. As if the loss alone was not enough, we also get the privilege of trying to push it back down at the exact moments we have waited for a release. Picture this. I am at my kid’s hockey game 🏒 and suddenly I am fighting tears because the rink decides to play the song my dad used to sing on road trips 🎶. Now I am sitting there in my nineteen layers of clothing looking like a swollen Teletubby, with gloves on 🧤, snot dripping 🤧, and mascara ready to betray me 🥲. Meanwhile, I am supposed to swallow the grief and pretend nothing is happening because society says this is not an appropriate time to leak emotion 🙃.

This is the impossible task of trying to squeeze our grief into other people’s boxes 📦 of what is acceptable. They are not you. They do not have your memories, your relationships, your love, or your pain 💭. We are all different. We love differently. We grieve differently. That is not a flaw in the system. That is just being human 🌱. Honestly, life would be easier if feelings came with an instruction manual or at least a warning label ⚠️, but here we are.

Think about the game Perfection, (hold onto your anxiety for a few seconds)! You can try to shove that square piece into the circle hole all day, but it is not going to fit ⭕❌. That’s what grief is. It comes in different shapes, different sizes, different intensities, and on completely different timelines ⏰. It shows up in grocery store aisles 🛒, hockey rinks 🧊, and late at night when you are just trying to watch TV in peace 🌙. It is okay if your grief does not match whatever rulebook someone else made up in their head 📘. You get to feel what you feel. You get to honor what you lost. You get to hold your grief for as long as it serves you and helps you heal ❤️‍🩹. That is not weakness. That is love doing its best to find a new shape.

If grief is going to show up whenever it feels like it, then fine. It can sit there quietly like a fanny pack. Nobody asked for it, nobody wants it, and yes, it is awkward and kind of ugly, but here we are. Just because grief shows up does not mean you owe the world a front row performance 🎭 to our potential freak out or leaky tear ducts.

Grief is love that has nowhere to land yet 💔. It will not always feel this sharp or this loud, and it will not always ambush you in the middle of public places. But in the mean time, you are allowed to feel your feelings without apologizing for them, and you are allowed to take a minute when it hurts. Let the wave come. Ride it. Breathe 🌊😮‍💨. Then go back to what you were doing when you are ready. That is not weakness. That is being human in real time.

So, when grief hits in public, the goal is not to stand out. The goal is simply to get through the wave 🌊. Sometimes that starts with catching yourself before your mind spirals. A quiet thought like, stay with me, can snap your brain out of its free fall just long enough to stay present 🤯. Not loud. Not dramatic. Just enough to interrupt the emotional chaos.

Then breathe. Slow, steady breaths tell your body it is safe. In through your nose, out through your mouth, like you are exhaling a secret you do not want to keep 😮‍💨🤐. It lowers the emotional volume so you can think again.

Your senses can help you stay grounded. Feel your feet on the floor 👣. Touch your coat 🧥. Count the lights, the tiles, or the threads on your scarf 💡🧣. You are not trying to erase the emotion. You are giving your body something to land on so your tears do not turn into a tidal wave 🌊😭.

If the wave is too big, step away, into the bathroom, hallway, car, anywhere with a little privacy 🚗🚻. That is not weakness. That is emotional damage control 🧯. You do not owe strangers a front row seat 🙅‍♀️ to anything.

Sometimes all you need is one sentence. Not a monologue. Not a dramatic speech. Just something true, like I miss them and this hurts ❤️. Then breathe. No TED Talk. No overthinking 🎤.

It hits hard in the moment 😔, but letting the memory move without letting it hijack your whole day is how you stay in control 💪. You do not have to shut yourself down just to keep other people comfortable 🙅‍♀️. Feel it, breathe, and keep living 😮‍💨🌱. That is how you carry grief without letting it run the show 🎭.

Grief is a lot like a slinky. It stretches, flips, and takes off in directions you did not plan for, but it can always be scooped up again 🫳 😮‍💨. If grief wants to tumble down the stairs, let it, because you can always gather it up and tuck it away in your fanny pack until you are ready.

Next time your memories or sadness try to overtake you, especially in public, don’t let it get you all twisted (like a Slinky, see what I did there 😉), take a deep breath and give those emotions a soft launch 🌬️ in whatever direction you’d like them to land. Preferable without getting yourself all tangled up if you can!

Let me know if any of this resonates with you 💬. Don’t forget to like and share on all the socials 📲. Go out and do something for yourself today 💛.

Grief’s Plus One

💙 Grief’s Plus-One💙

I laugh when I’m uncomfortable 😬. I’m naturally a storyteller, and sarcasm has always been my love language 💬. Pretty sure it started as a survival technique in my family. Now, as an adult, it’s just what happens when things get weird. I laugh at funerals ⚰️, in hospital waiting rooms 🏥, during any moment that feels too heavy to hold 😅.

There’s something about silence that makes my skin itch, the kind that hangs thick after bad news or fills the space between sobs 😶‍🌫️. My brain scrambles for something to say, anything to make the room breathe again 🫠. That’s usually when it happens, the laugh that doesn’t belong 🤦‍♀️.

That’s how grief sneaks in for me. Not as one emotion, but as the tension underneath everything 💭. It’s in that silence, that pressure to make things okay, that cocktail of sadness, guilt, and “I have no idea what to do right now” 😔.

When I realized that wasn’t necessarily normal (though not uncommon either), it hit me, grief is dimensional 💫. It doesn’t travel alone. It brings friends, it changes costumes, and unless you’re paying close attention, you never really know who’s talking 👀.

Now hear me out, because I’m about to take you on a metaphorical trip 🚀. Don’t panic, we’re all holding hands for this one 🤝. Think of grief in terms of one of the greatest cartoons ever made, The Smurfs 💙. (I know, I know, there are haters, but fine, they can be Gargamel if they want 🧙‍♂️.)

Grief shows up in all kinds of forms, kind of like each of the individual characters in the Smurf village 🏡. Some days you’re Grouchy 😠, mad at the world and yourself. Other days you’re Papa 🧔‍♂️, wise and accepting, trying to see the big picture. For me, when grief hits fast, I go full Handy 🔧, fixing, organizing, doing anything that looks like coping while quietly avoiding actually feeling.

The best part of this realization is knowing that whichever Smurf shows up, they are there for a reason 💪. Every emotion that comes with grief has a purpose and deserves to be felt 💖. It is okay when they appear, even if that means you are ugly crying in the carpool lane after school drop-off 🚗😭, pretending you are just really into your podcast 🎧. Grief does not care about timing or mascara 🫤. The magic is not in holding it together. It is in letting it all have space: the heartbreak 💔, the laughter 😂, the guilt 😔, the relief 😮‍💨.

Because in real life, emotions are not color coded or cartoon sized 🎨. They do not politely take turns or wait until you are ready 🕰️. They overlap, interrupt, and spill out at the worst times 😭. And no one skips around singing “La La La La” to pull you out of it 🎵. It is just you, giving every feeling a little room to exist until, somehow, they start to blend into something that almost feels whole again 🌈.

What is my point? Well, the reason I brought us on this little trip down memory lane is simple, to validate you and your emotions 💛. Society, our loved ones, and sometimes even our own inner critic like to tell us which feelings are acceptable and which ones we should hide 🤐. We start to believe it is not okay to lose our cool because the McDonald’s ice cream machine is broken again 🍦🚫. We judge ourselves for feeling too much or not enough, and that judgment convinces us we are doing something wrong 🫣.

But here is the thing. It is okay to be pissed about the ice cream machine 🍦. It is okay to feel disappointed, angry, or sad about things both, big and small. Just maybe do not take it out on the poor employee stuck breaking the bad news 🙃. Because that right there is the whole point. When we do not give our emotions space, they find it on their own 💥. That’s when we act out in places or on people we regret, stacking guilt and shame on top of feelings that were already heavy. I tell my children all the time, “You can deal with your feelings on your own schedule, or I promise they will find time to deal with you on theirs” 👏.

The thing about grief is that it does not always look like tears and tissues 🧻. Sometimes it is laughing at the wrong moment 🤷‍♀️. Sometimes it is anger that flares out of nowhere 😡, or guilt that sneaks in when you start to feel “okay” 😕. Grief never shows up alone. It brings guests like guilt, anger, confusion, and even relief, the one that feels uncomfortable to admit but still deserves to be there 🩵. Every feeling deserves a seat at the table 🍽️. When you stop trying to rank or silence them, you start to see how they blend, a messy and unpredictable rainbow of emotions that somehow still paints something whole 🌈.

And maybe that is the secret the Smurfs knew all along 💭. No single character carries the story 💙. It takes the whole chaotic village. Grief is no different. It is loud, it is imperfect, and sometimes it sings off key 🎶, but it is still a chorus of connection. So whatever version of you shows up today, Grouchy, Handy, Weepy, or Somewhere in Between Smurf, give them a wave 👋 and let them stay awhile. They are just trying to help you find your way back home 🏡✨.

Maybe the goal isn’t to chase grief away but to let it walk beside us, blue, messy, emotional, and real, until it becomes less of a villain and more of a companion that reminds us how deeply we’ve loved. Whether your day feels a little more Smurfette, all grace and resilience, or more Azrael, hissing at anyone who breathes too loud, give yourself grace. Both belong in the village 💅🐈💙.

True Crime and Calcium

When I was growing up, milk cartons had pictures of missing children on them because apparently we all needed a little true crime with our calcium 🥛🕵️‍♀️. A weird little mix of breakfast and heartbreak 💔🥣.

Grief has a lot in common with those old milk cartons 📦. In the beginning, people see you 👀. They ask questions, check in, and remember. But as time passes, your “missing” poster quietly gets replaced by a new one on the carton. Everyone assumes you have been found 🫤.

Except you haven’t. You are still a little lost, you have just gotten better at hiding it 🫣.

For me, the real grief starts when everyone stops checking in 🙃. When people stop asking questions and stop talking about the piece of you that went missing with your loved one 💔. In the beginning, we are problem-solvers 🧾. We stay busy planning services, writing thank-you notes, signing forms, one long emotionally exhausting to-do list 😮‍💨.

When that list finally gets completely crossed out, crumpled up, and tossed in the trash 🗑️🌀, that is when grief moves in and unpacks its suitcase 🎒. That is when it festers. That is when people don’t know what to do with their feelings 😬, so they stop asking about yours. It is uncomfortable, it is awkward, and instead of saying something real, they default to safe phrases like “time heals all wounds.”

Spoiler alert: it doesn’t ⏳🙄.

That is when the struggle starts. Not because it gets easier, but because of those unspoken expectations that your grief has expired. That the topic has become old and stale. People stop talking, so we start to believe it’s no longer okay to be sad. That our tears are not suited for company. Or maybe worse, that others have forgotten our loved one altogether. It is like there is a universal grief calendar out there reminding us it’s time to be normal again 📅🫠.

At some point, it starts to feel like there is an invisible timeline for grief ⏰. Society acts like everyone gets a limited emotional warranty. Six months of sadness, maybe a year if it was tragic, and then you are supposed to magically move on 🏃‍♀️💨.

But grief does not give a damn about calendars 📆. It doesn’t care if it has been six weeks or six years. It shows up when your loved one’s favorite song starts playing 🎶 or when you open a drawer and find something you forgot they gave you 💔. It is sneakier than those mystery pictures we had to squeeze our eyes practically shut to see the image 👀(which I could never see) when we went to the mall. You know, the one’s outside the entryways in between stores like Claire’s Boutique and Gloria Jean’s Coffee Shop.

We talk about grief like it’s a cold, something that will go away if you rest and drink water 🫖💊. But it is not an illness. It is evidence. Proof that you loved deeply. Proof that someone mattered. And honestly, that kind of love does not come with an expiration date 🥛💞, no matter how much it hurts or how much we wish it would.

Grief wears a lot of faces in our lives and in society. Sometimes the way it shows up changes, and that is okay. There is not a right way to grieve. Period.

Other people do not have to understand your grief. You do not need their permission to feel. You get to feel whatever you need to feel 😤. No one gets to tell you it is not okay.

If keeping that recording of your dad’s voice helps because not hearing it hurts, that is okay. If keeping your mom’s ashes close brings you peace, that is okay too. Whatever helps you validate your feelings and sleep at night is valid ❤️‍🩹.

Grief isn’t neat or linear. It doesn’t pack up when the casseroles stop showing up or when everyone else moves on 🍲🕯️. It lingers, it shifts, and sometimes it even surprises you by showing up on a perfectly normal Tuesday when you’re doing fine(ish). And that’s okay too.

Maybe grief isn’t about finding your way back. Maybe it’s about learning to live with a few pieces still missing 🧩. The world might stop looking after a while, but that doesn’t mean you have to. Keep checking in with yourself. You still matter, even when the milk carton says otherwise 💛 or in my case they no longer make them!

Ever feel like your emotions missed society’s memo to “move on”? Same. 

If you’ve ever felt like your grief came with an expiration date, I’d love to hear how you’ve learned to thrive/survive with it. Drop your thoughts below, your story might be the reminder someone else needs today 🌿💬.

You Are Not Planting Seeds; You Are Turning on a Porch Light.

You Are Not Planting Seeds; You Are Turning on a Porch Light

Content Note

This post discusses suicide and warning signs. If you are in crisis right now, please call or text 988 in the U.S. For immediate danger, call 911. If you are outside the U.S., contact your local crisis services.

If you are reading this and feeling unsafe, please stop and reach out to 988 or your local emergency number right away. You do not have to go through this alone.

This post is a little heavier than our usual Comfortably Human vibe, suicide prevention month calls for some seriousness. My goal today is to share straightforward psychoeducation and clear away myths about suicide that keep hanging around, almost like the way Aquanet kept 80s bangs standing tall.

Discussing suicide is hard because people matter. All people. Unfortunately, not everyone feels that truth. Below I have broken down common myths and added some perspective that might help.

🚨 Busting myths

1. If we talk about it, we will make it worse.
Not true. Avoiding the conversation will not protect anyone. If someone is already thinking about suicide, asking directly does not plant ideas. It shows care and opens the door to safety planning. Being heard matters. That alone can reduce risk.

2. People who talk about it will not do it.
Sometimes talk is impulsive or a way of testing reactions. But suicidal talk is a warning sign and should be taken seriously. Treat it as a red flag, not a joke.

3. It is always about wanting to die.
Many people who consider suicide are trying to escape unbearable pain, not to end life as an abstract idea. Connection, understanding, and even small supports can shift that perspective. This is why uncomfortable conversations matter.

4. You have to be a professional to help.
You do not. Anyone can listen, ask directly, stay present, and help connect to resources. Professionals bring training. Loved ones bring presence. Both matter.

5. If they seem better, the risk is gone.
A sudden lift in mood can be misleading. Keep checking in. Simple follow ups such as “How are you today” remind people they are not alone.

6. Having a suicidal thought means you are suicidal.
Our brains are wired to search for quick solutions when we hurt, and sometimes that thought can pop up without intent to act on it. What matters is how frequent and how intense the thoughts are, and whether planning or intent is involved. Fleeting thoughts are not uncommon, but persistent or detailed thoughts are a sign to reach out right away for help.

🚨 Warning signs of suicide

These are not a checklist. Even one or two can be reason for concern. Trust your instincts.

1. Talking about wanting to die or researching ways to do it.

2. Expressing hopelessness, feeling trapped, or saying life has no purpose.

3. Saying you are a burden or that others would be better off without you.

4. Increasing alcohol or drug use to cope.

5. Withdrawing from friends, family, or usual activities.

6. Major changes in sleep, appetite, or personal care.

7. Acting recklessly or giving away prized possessions.

8. Dramatic mood swings, or sudden calm after long depression.

9. Signs of planning, such as collecting pills, buying a weapon, or writing a will.

10. Posting about death or sharing goodbye messages on social media.

🌱 Why This Matters

Risk factors such as past attempts, serious medical or mental health conditions, chronic pain, or access to lethal means increase longer term risk. Warning signs are more immediate and point to possible danger right now. Both deserve attention.

🛠️ What You Can Do

• Ask directly: “Are you thinking about killing yourself” (asking does not plant the idea).

• Stay with them and listen more than you talk.

• Remove access to lethal means if possible.

• Get help: call or text 988 in the U.S., or call 911 if there is immediate danger. Outside the U.S., contact local crisis services.

• Follow up the next day. A simple “How are you ❤️” matters more than you think.

At the end of the day, talking about suicide is not about having all the answers. It is about showing up for people when it feels messy and hard. You are not planting seeds; you are turning on a porch light 🕯️, and sometimes that little bit of light is all someone needs to take the next step forward.

If today’s post does one thing, I hope it reminds you that your words matter. 💬 Ask the questions, keep the door open, and check in again tomorrow. People matter. All people. Including you. ❤️

And since this post leaned more PSA than usual, I will leave you with this in my best sing-song voice: “The more you know.” ✨

🌍 Suicide Prevention Hotlines

🇺🇸 United States
📞 Call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline)

🇨🇦 Canada
📞 Call or text 988 (Suicide Crisis Helpline)

🇬🇧 United Kingdom & Ireland
📞 Call 116 123 (Samaritans)
📱 Text 85258 (Shout, UK only)

🇦🇺 Australia
📞 Call 13 11 14 (Lifeline Australia)

🇳🇿 New Zealand
📞 Call or text 1737 (Need to Talk)

🏳️‍🌈 LGBTQ+ Support
🌟 The Trevor Project (U.S.): 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678
🌟 Trans Lifeline (U.S. & Canada): U.S. 877-565-8860 | Canada 877-330-6366

🌐 Worldwide
🔗 Find international hotlines at www.befrienders.org

Sources and further reading

Information for this post is drawn from the CDC, the Suicide Prevention Lifeline, and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

Do you remember Swatch Watches?

I think one of the hardest parts of being human is literally accepting who you are. That sounds wild, right? We’re us …..of course we accept ourselves… but do we? 🤔

How many times have you asked if something makes you look fat 🍑, if your new haircut is okay 💇‍♀️, or sugarcoated a response because being polite felt safer than being honest 🙃?

From the start, we’re fed a buffet of conflicting lessons 🍽️: be proud of yourself, but don’t brag 😅. Be polite, but don’t let anyone push you around 💪. Be yourself, but for God’s sake, don’t be too much 🙄.

As kids 👧👦, we didn’t have the context to sort any of this out. So we tried, and when we picked the “wrong” rule at the wrong time? Boom 💥. Punishment. Consequences. A vague sense that we screwed up, with typically zero explanation about what actually happened 🤷.

Most of the time, our parents meant well ❤️. But good intentions don’t erase the impact. Those mixed messages shaped how we see ourselves 👀, how we interact with others 🤝, and how we measure whether we’re “acceptable.” And for a lot of us, those voices are still running the show 🌀.

When I was a kid, Swatch watches ⌚ were everything. They came in every color 🌈, every pattern 🎨, and the cooler you were, the more you stacked on your arm 💪. Forget minimalism, we were walking around like Lisa Frank designed our skin 🌈🦄🐆. And the best part? Nobody cared if it made sense 🤷. It was about wearing what you liked, even if it was loud 🔊, mismatched 🌀, or made your wrist look like a clearance bin at Claire’s 🛍️.

Swatch watches taught me a lot 📝. You could swap them with friends 👯, change the bands if you didn’t like them 🔄, or throw on guards to protect the face 🛡️. And sometimes you just went full chaos mode 🤪 and wore every watch you owned at once. Not to get all Forrest Gump on you 🎥🍫… but life really is like a Swatch watch. They let you grow 🌱, change 🔄, stand out 🌟, fit in 🤗, be a little wild 🎉, and still feel safe 🛑.

And that’s what I want for you 💛. (Not necessarily a Swatch watch… though if you get one, please stack at least three ⌚⌚⌚. Bonus points for zebra print 🦓 with a cheetah face 🐆.) What I really want is for you to be unapologetically you 🙌. To validate yourself, because you flipping deserve it 👊✨.

Self-acceptance is stacking up the parts of yourself that make you you 💕, even if it looks like too much for somebody else 🙄. It’s the bold patterns 🟣🟢, the weird choices 🤪, the oversized wall-clock version of your personality 🕰️ that doesn’t “fit” neatly but feels exactly right on you 🫶.

When we don’t accept ourselves, when we keep shrinking to fit 🪡 , life gets unbearably heavy 😔. But when we give ourselves permission to be the wall-clock Swatch 🕰️ in a world of plain black bands ⚫? That’s where hope lives 🌟. That’s where acceptance starts 🛟: in the belief that your existence is valid ✅, loud 🔊, mismatched 🌀, and completely worthy of love ❤️ and life 🌍.

That’s why Comfortably Human’s tagline is Come as You Are, Stay as You Grow 🌱. Because being who you truly are matters. It means everything ✨. YOU ARE IMPORTANT. YOU ARE PERFECT… JUST AS YOU ARE 💯.

💛 September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month 🗓️. And part of prevention isn’t just crisis lines ☎️ or emergency rooms 🚑, it’s learning to accept yourself 🫶, finding community 👯, and remembering you don’t have to do it alone 🤝. Attachment and connection are vital to who we are as human beings 🧑‍🤝‍🧑.

✨ You don’t have to find your people all at once 🌍. Sometimes you find pieces of them: the book club friend 📚, the yoga friend 🧘‍♀️, the volunteer buddy 🐾. Over time, those threads weave into belonging 🧵.

🌱 Places & Groups to Try When You’re Struggling to Find Your People

1. Supportive Communities (mental health + connection)

• 🧠 Peer support groups (local NAMI, Mental Health America, or hospital/community center groups)

• 💬 Online communities (Reddit subs like r/ADHD, r/CPTSD, or specialized Facebook groups, though with caution and boundaries)

• 🪷 Mindfulness/meditation groups (often free or donation-based at libraries, community centers, or yoga studios)

2. Shared Interests & Hobbies

• 📚 Book clubs (library, indie bookstore, or online, many themed around specific genres)

• 🎨 Art classes / creative meetups (painting, pottery, creative writing workshops)

• 🎶 Local music/choir groups or even karaoke nights if you’re brave enough

• 🧵 Maker/crafting groups (quilting, knitting, or DIY, especially great for people who connect while doing something rather than just talking)

3. Volunteering & Giving Back

• 🐾 Animal shelters / rescues (instant community with fellow pet lovers)

• 🍲 Food pantries or meal programs (hands-on and heart-driven)

• 🌎 Environmental or clean-up groups (meet people while doing something tangible for the community)

4. Movement & Activity

• 🚶 Walking/hiking clubs (low-pressure and easy to chat while moving)

• 🧘 Yoga or group fitness (many studios have beginner series or community-based classes)

• 🥋 Martial arts or dance classes (structured environment + built-in camaraderie)

5. Lifelong Learning

• 🖥️ Community college or adult education courses (low-cost and often interest-based, not just academic)

• 🍳 Cooking classes (bonus: you eat at the end)

• 🎭 Theater groups (acting, stage crew, or just helping out,  lots of roles, lots of people)

6. Faith & Values

• 🙏 Churches, temples, or spiritual centers (if meaningful to you)

• 🌍 Humanist or interfaith groups (if you want the community without strict doctrine)

• 🕊️ Recovery communities (AA, SMART Recovery, Celebrate Recovery, even if addiction isn’t your primary issue, they foster connection and support)

💛 If You’re Struggling or in Crisis…….You’re Not Alone

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.) 📞
  Call or text 988, or use the 988 Lifeline Chat. Available 24/7, free, and confidential.

• Crisis Text Line (U.S. & Canada) 📱
  Text HELLO to 741741 to connect with a trained crisis counselor.

• Trevor Project (LGBTQ+ Youth, U.S.) 🏳️‍🌈
  Call 1-866-488-7386, text START to 678678, or chat at thetrevorproject.org.

• Veterans Crisis Line (U.S.) 🎖️
  Call or text 988, then press 1. Or chat via VeteransCrisisLine.net.

🌎 Outside the U.S.?
Find hotlines in your country at findahelpline.com.

CTRL+ALT+DEL For Your Feelings

Ctrl+Alt+Del For Your Feelings

September is Suicide Prevention Month, and while a lot of conversations focus on what to do in a crisis 🚨, we don’t talk enough about the before. Prevention isn’t only about hotlines and emergencies (though those are life-saving and important!), it’s also about learning healthier ways to handle emotions before they boil over.

Think of coping strategies as tools 🧰 not just the ones you grab when the house is on fire 🔥, but the everyday ones that keep things from getting that far in the first place.

Coping Isn’t Only About Crisis

We tend to imagine coping strategies like the emergency glass you break when everything is falling apart 🔨. But really, they should be everyday practices that help you feel grounded, supported, and less overwhelmed 💆‍♀️.

• Crisis coping = calling a hotline ☎️, reaching out when you’re at risk 🚨.

• Daily coping = the stuff that builds emotional muscles 💪 and reminds your brain, “I can handle this.”

Both matter. Both save lives 💜.

Everyday Coping Strategies (a.k.a. Emotional Cheat Codes 🎮✨)

Here are a few real-life, not-so-clinical tools that actually help when you practice them:

• Movement: Not marathon training 🏃‍♀️, more like dancing in your kitchen to 90s throwbacks 🎶 or walking the dog 🐕 with a podcast.

• Connection: Text a ridiculous meme 🤣. Call someone who makes you feel seen 💌. Even introverts (yes, even you 👀) need people.

• Grounding: 5 things you can see 👀, 4 you can touch ✋, 3 you can hear 👂, 2 you can smell 👃, 1 you can taste 👅. Basically the Ctrl+Alt+Del of your nervous system 🖥️.

• Creative outlets: Journaling 📓, doodling ✏️, baking 🍪, or building a questionable IKEA bookshelf 🪑 (Swedish curses included).

• Rest: Actual rest 😴. Not doomscrolling until 3 a.m. 🌙. Bonus points for napping like a cat in a sunbeam 🐈☀️.

• Breathing exercises: Box breathing 🟦 (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4). Karaoke for your lungs 🎤.

• Self-talk: Hype yourself up 💃. “You got this. Beyoncé would be proud.” 👑

• Distraction (healthy kind): Puzzles 🧩, retro video games 🕹️, or organizing your closet like it’s a Friends montage 🛋️.

• Nature: Go outside 🌳. Touch grass 🌱. Stare dramatically at the sky like you’re in a 90s music video 🎧.

Too Busy for Coping?

We all get caught up in the chaos……..work 💼, family 👨‍👩‍👧, errands 🛒, endless scrolling 📱. It’s easy to tell ourselves we don’t have time for coping strategies. But here’s the truth: coping doesn’t have to be a 2-hour meditation retreat in Bali 🧘‍♀️. It can be two minutes of deep breathing in your car 🚗 before heading into the grocery store.

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, 1986,).” 🚙💨 And sometimes “looking around” just means pausing long enough to notice you’re stressed, and giving yourself one small tool….a walk 🚶‍♀️, a song 🎵, a laugh 😂 before life sweeps you up again.

Why Humor Belongs Here

Here’s the thing, coping strategies don’t have to be serious and heavy 100% of the time. Sometimes laughter is the strategy. Humor doesn’t erase pain, but it makes it lighter to carry. It’s like adding wheels to a suitcase 🧳, the load is still there, but now you’re rolling through the airport like you’re in a Mentos commercial from 1993 😎.

The Comfortably Human Takeaway

Suicide prevention isn’t just about one big dramatic moment. It’s about a thousand small ones 💡, the choices we make to care for ourselves in messy, imperfect ways. Whether your coping strategy is journaling like you’re auditioning for a sad indie film 🎬, blasting Salt-N-Pepa while cleaning 🧹, or calling in reinforcements when things get dark 🌑……it all matters.

Depression isn’t just a bad mood you “snap out of.” It’s heavy, complicated, and sometimes feels like your brain is running Windows 95 and keeps freezing 🖥️❌. Prevention means stocking up your emotional toolbox 🧰 ahead of time, so you’ve got options. The tools don’t have to be pretty ✨. They just have to be yours ❤️ (bonus if they make you laugh-snort).

Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying

Life Feels Like a Rubik’s Cube

Life is a lot like a Rubik’s cube. On the surface, it looks manageable, just line up the colors 🟥🟦🟩🟨, right? But once you’re in it, every turn 🔄 creates more chaos 😵, more mismatched sides ↔️, and more pressure to “figure it out” 🧐. The endless choices, many of which don’t even feel like good options 🚫 can pile up fast. That’s when stress snowballs ⛄️ into anxiety 😰, ruminating thoughts 💭, and those survival strategies that maybe aren’t the best for us: 🍷 numbing with alcohol, 🍔 eating past fullness, 💳 overspending for a quick hit of relief, or just shutting down altogether 🛑.

And sure, it all makes sense when you say it out loud… but what do we do with it? 🤷 Where do all those feelings 🌀, stress 💢, and anxious thoughts actually go?

🙄 The Eye Roll (aka Self-Care)

I know what you’re about to do…..roll your eyes at me 🙄, but it really does come back to self-care ✨. Did you roll them? Be honest 👀. Because I know the thought crossed your mind: “Who has time for that?” ⏰

Here’s the thing 👉 most of us were never taught how to slow down 🐢 and take care of ourselves ❤️. But this is where struggles and anxiety can start, when we don’t take care of ourselves, the stress piles up, like a sink full of dishes you’ve been ignoring 🍽️. Eventually it spills over 💦, making everything harder to manage 😩. But here’s the truth: you can’t pour from an empty cup ☕️… and you definitely can’t pour from a coffee mug with a three-day-old latte crust either 🤢.

So how do you make time for self-care when you barely have time to breathe 😮‍💨? If you’ve ever googled “self-care ideas,” you’d think the internet assumes you’re either a millionaire with unlimited time and money 💸 or a woodland fairy who spends afternoons forest bathing 🧚‍♀️🌲.

Let’s be real……most of us are just trying not to lose our cool when life throws curveballs ⚾️. The truth is, it’s hard to magically find an extra hour in our schedules, but spoiler: Self-care doesn’t require a three-hour morning routine or disappearing to a cabin in the woods 🏕️. It’s about weaving in small things that tell your brain: “Hey, I matter too.” Sometimes that’s a five-minute stretch 🧘‍♀️, drinking actual water 💧 instead of your third coffee, or listening to a song 🎶 (Baby Got Back, obviously 🍑), that makes you feel alive for three minutes while you’re stuck in traffic 🚗.

Self-care doesn’t have to be a big ordeal 🚫. Sometimes it’s remembering to change your bedsheets 🛏️ or simply getting out of  the bed 🛌 when depression symptoms feel heavy 🪨. It can be  wearing clothes that actually feel good 👖👟, or yes, having that glass of wine 🍷, remembering to eat food groups other than coffee and anxiety, or treating yourself to a new pair of shoes 👠👟.

💧 Small Things Count

So why am I yammering on about self-care when September is Suicide Prevention Month? 🗓️ Here’s the thing: being human isn’t as simple as thinking, “I feel depressed or overwhelmed, I should just do something about it.” Most of the time, depression doesn’t show up overnight 🌙. It often starts gradually, with struggles or stressors that build over time 🧱 until our brains begin convincing us of things that aren’t true. Thoughts like: “Nobody loves me 💔,” “I’m all alone 😔,” or even “It would be easier if I weren’t here.”

Over time, depression can lead to feeling emotionally numb 🪫, losing interest in things we once loved 🎶📚, or even losing interest in life altogether. Many people don’t even realize it’s happening until they feel stuck in a place they don’t know how to get out of 🚪. It’s scary 😨, lonely 🕳️, and often shame-filled 😔, especially when it feels like no one else could possibly understand.

That’s where self-care comes in ✨. It’s a necessary step in maintaining a healthier thought process 🧠. It helps keep those sneaky, negative thoughts from taking over 👤. Self-care is how we remind our brains that we matter 💙, that we don’t have to be perfect 🌱, that mistakes are allowed ✅, and that being authentically ourselves is enough 🙌. It’s maintenance for your brain 🧠, your heart ❤️, and your sanity 🙃. Think of it as the mixtape 📼 you make to get through the week: some songs are upbeat, some are slow, and some you skip entirely (you know the one 🎶).

Depression is a hard and important topic to be informed about. Suicide and self-care were a meditated pick for me this month, because while I want to keep things humorous and light (that’s the Comfortably Human style), the reality is these are very serious conversations. With that said, this month we’ll talk about how self-care, coping strategies 🧰, and safety planning 📝 can literally save lives, while still weaving in lighthearted touches to keep things human.

🌱 The Bridge Between Self-Care and Prevention

“You get busy living, or you get busy dying.” (The Shawshank Redemption, directed by Frank Darabont, 1994). At face value, it sounds straightforward ✅ , and it is. But if you dig into it ⛏️, it really gets to the heart ❤️ of things. Living isn’t just existing 😶, it’s choosing to show up for yourself 💪, even on the hard days 🌧️.

That’s the bridge 🌉 between self-care 💆‍♀️ and prevention 🛟: the small choices that remind us we matter 💙, that we’re here 🌎, and that life even in its messiness 😵‍💫 is worth leaning into 🌱.

Next week we’ll take that deeper 📅, with coping strategies 🧰 and safety planning 📝 for when “getting busy living” feels a lot harder than it should 💡.

📞 If You’re Struggling, Please Reach Out

If you’re reading this and struggling with suicidal thoughts, please know you don’t have to go through it alone. Reaching out doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means you’re still choosing life, even in the mess. 💙

• 📞 United States — Call or text 988 or use the chat via 988lifeline.org. (Free, 24/7, confidential support.)

• 🌍 International — Visit findahelpline.com for crisis lines worldwide.

• 🇬🇧 UK & Ireland — Call 116 123 or visit samaritans.org.

• 🏳️‍⚧️ Trans Lifeline (U.S. & Canada) — 877-565-8860 | translifeline.org

• 🏳️‍🌈 The Trevor Project (LGBTQ+ youth, U.S.) — 1-866-488-7386 | Text START to 678-678 | thetrevorproject.org

Goonies Never Say Die

Trust your gut...

Cue palm to the face and heavy eye roll 🤦‍♀️🙄. Trust my gut? All that gets me is the realization that I might have some variation of IBS… or that I shouldn’t have eaten that last slice of pizza 😅💨. Isn’t my gut meant to tell me when I’m hungry 🍕 or need to use the restroom 🚻? Well, yes… but (and I know we all hate sentences that start with “yes, but…”) 🙄; that’s not the whole story.

When they say (and by “they,” I mean the sciencey people 🤓) that your gut is your second brain, they aren’t lying. Your gut has its own nervous system, the enteric nervous system 🧠 which connects directly to your brain 🌐. And get this: your gut microbiome 🦠 (aka the bacteria living in your gut) can influence your serotonin levels, the “feel-good” hormone 😊 that helps regulate mood 😌. So, if your gut isn’t packed with healthy bacteria 🥦, it can mess with your emotions and sense of well-being 💪🌿.

Then there’s your body’s intuitive side 👀. Butterflies 🦋 in your stomach, goosebumps 🧊, tingling fingers 🤲, these aren’t random. They’re physical signals ⚡ telling you something. Think of them as alerts from your body’s personal dashboard 💬.

And speaking of dashboards, your car lets you know when the gas is low, the wiper fluid’s out, or it’s time for maintenance 🚗💡. Your body’s the same. Stomach drops, hair standing up on the back of your neck 👀, those are your warning lights 🚨.

So why all the belly talk? 🤔 Because when you’re deciding to make a transition or start something new, it’s not just about what you think you want, it’s about what’s actually right for you. That’s where intuition comes in. It’s your internal sounding board 🗣️ helping you tune into what’s truly in your heart 💖.

The first step to trusting yourself and your intuition, is to pay attention 👀 and ask questions ❓. This is where the tough part comes in 😬. We don’t always get the answers we want, and that’s often why we stopped listening to ourselves in the first place 🙈. Trusting yourself takes courage 💪 because when the outcome isn’t what you hoped for, there’s no one else to blame 😕.

That’s why I remind myself: Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to 🛑. What we want isn’t always what we need ⚖️. Deep down, we usually know that, but it doesn’t make it any easier to accept 💔.

And here’s the thing, trusting your gut isn’t just about you…..The people you surround yourself with can help you hear it louder…

“Hey You Guys!” 🎬💥 (The Goonies, directed by Richard Donner, 1985)

This is where having a support system is sooooo valuable 💪. Having your crew of badasses 👯‍♀️ is everything. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that friendship, support, and good energy matter more than anything.

If the Goonies taught us anything, it’s this:

• Believe the treasure is real 🗺️

• Show up in the tunnels 🕳️

• Share the Baby Ruth 🍫

And if you’re lucky, you’ll find your Sloth moment….someone who shows up when you’re chained to the wall, looking like the worst day of your life, and instead of judging you… just says, “Hey you guys!” and busts you out of whatever situation you find yourself in, no questions asked🏴‍☠️🔓.  Tell me you didn’t want a sloth growing up!!

A support system doesn’t have to be flawless. It just has to be there for the chaos, the victories, and everything in between.

“Goonies Never Say Die!” 🎬💥

Wrapping up August… wait….HOW is next week September already?! 😳 (Go ahead, check your heart rate…  it went up, didn’t it. ❤️‍🔥)

We’ve talked a lot this month about moving forward, building momentum, and taking chances, but here’s the plot twist no one warns you about: sometimes the fear of succeeding can be just as paralyzing as the fear of failing.

Yep, it’s a thing. You hit the goal, and instead of popping champagne 🍾, your brain’s like: Cool… now what if I can’t keep it up? Suddenly, you’re stacking your wins next to everyone else’s shiny highlight reel, and boom, comparison steals your joy faster than a One-Eyed Willy booby trap 🏴‍☠️💣.

Even the most “successful” people question themselves. That’s why a never say die attitude isn’t just a cute Goonies quote…..it’s your survival kit. It’s what keeps you moving when your inner critic whispers, “You’re not ready. You’re not worthy. You’re not enough.” 🙄

So, when doubt creeps in, remember show up in the tunnels, believe the treasure’s real, and for the love of Sloth….share the damn Baby Ruth 🍫. Because your crew matters as much as your courage.

Food for thought… Who’s in your tunnels, and are you showing up for them too?

Further Reading on Mind/Gut Connections (References 🤔)

• Gershon, M. D. (1998). The Second Brain: The Groundbreaking New Science of Gut-Brain Communication. HarperCollins.

• Cryan, J. F., & Dinan, T. G. (2012). Mind-altering microorganisms: The impact of the gut microbiota on brain and behaviour. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 13(10), 701–712.

• Van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.

Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner

"Nobody puts Baby in the corner," (Dirty Dancing, 1987)

Whose heart doesn’t melt when remembering Johnny’s famous words? 😍💃 I could go on and on about how dreamy Patrick Swayze was, and how his words to Baby transcended age and gender, making us all blush like teenagers. 😳💖 But let’s take a moment to step back and look at this quote through a different lens. 👀

If we’re honest, aren’t there times where we are all put in little boxes by others (or ourselves), just like “Baby”? 🤔💭 How often do we commit to staying stagnant, avoiding risks, and not allowing ourselves to grow? 🌱 Are we unintentionally putting ourselves in the corner? 🚪🙄

Putting ourselves in the corner metaphorically keeps us stuck in the status quo. Everything’s fine, but we’re left always wanting more. I hate the dreaded “What Ifs” that haunt my life. You know what I mean, “What if I would’ve tried the delicious looking cheesecake instead of this dry-ass chocolate cake?” 🍰😂 Just kidding... (sort of)!

But seriously, think about it: What if we started viewing the regret of the "What Ifs" as a motivator rather than something that holds us back? What if we used it as a push to move forward instead of adding another item to our "con list" of should or shouldn’t I? What if we saw it as a second chance? 🤯💡

"You’re a virgin who can’t drive!" (Clueless, directed by Amy Heckerling, 1995.) 🚗

Picking ourselves up after things didn’t go our way can be tough, especially in a world that often seems to magnify disappointments. Society has a way of making missed opportunities or risks that didn’t go as planned feel more profound than they really are, which can impact how we see ourselves. 🤔💭

How many times have you hidden parts of who you are or your interests from others because you were afraid of what they might say? "They’ll think I’m weird" 🤷‍♀️, or "What if they don’t like it, or worse, laugh about it?" 😳 Honestly, as I got closer to launching my first blog, I never realized how vulnerable it would feel to put my words out there for others to see. It. Is. Scary 😱 to take chances, to lay your heart out for others 💖.

Let’s be honest: Most of the things we care about are tied to our hearts ❤️. So, taking the chance that others might not support what we love is brave💥. You. Are. Brave 🙌🔥. And taking a risk with no guarantees is admirable, unless we’re talking about bungee jumping or anything with heights. That’s just unnecessary! 😂🙅‍♀️

Starting anew often means stepping into vulnerability, and let me tell you, it’s scary as hell 😱. But vulnerability is the gateway to growth 🌱. Without it, we stay stuck in the same old patterns 🌀.

"I get knocked down, but I get up again, you’re never gonna keep me down." (Chumbawamba, 1997) 🎶

Resilience, such a dynamic word with so much power 💥 behind it. To summarize Chumbawamba’s epic words: Just keep going. 🚀 Remember who you are, what you want, and KEEP. GOING. 💥 Full stop. Nothing else to be added…..just keep going. 🏃‍♀️💨

Maybe “keep going” means something different to everyone: maybe it’s tweaking a few things 🔧, restructuring the whole thing 🔄, or maybe it’s simply taking a breather to reevaluate 🧘‍♀️. Whatever resilience means to you, or however it works for you… just keep moving. 💪🌱

“We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy!” (Wayne’s World, 1992)

It’s inevitable, somewhere along the way in life, we’ve started to believe all of the wildly untrue things our brain has told us. And of course, we have, after all, decades of evidence 📜 to back up those beliefs, keeping us from giving ourselves the benefit of the doubt. We can sing “Don’t Stop Believin’” (Journey, 1981) at the top of our lungs 🎤, but have we really let those words sink in? 🤔

If you’re like me, and if you're still reading my blogs, there's a good chance you are, maintaining a positive regard for myself wasn’t a belief system I was taught. So, finding grace with myself was almost impossible. 😞 Instead, my brain defaulted to, “I don’t know why you thought you could do that, you failed.” 😔 Self-compassion felt like a foreign language 🗣️, and my mental movie 🎬 played the same scenes over and over, showing me where I went wrong and reinforcing my self-doubt.

How can we be gentle with ourselves when we’ve been conditioned to hold on to the bad? 🤷‍♀️ The phrase “Don’t be so hard on yourself” exists somewhere, but not in my lifetime. And even if it was, no one ever explained what to do with the emotional toll of being hard on yourself. 🥲 It’s not as simple as hearing those words and thinking, “Yeah, I’ll get it next time.”

Self-compassion is a practice, it doesn’t just happen because someone says, “don’t be hard on yourself.” 💭💖 Being attentive 👂 to the feelings behind negative thoughts, beliefs, and energy 💭 creates a moment to reflect and allows for tremendous growth 🌱.

You don’t need my permission, but I want to validate every emotion you feel. Your. Feelings. Are. Valid 💯. They are okay 👍 and an important place to reflect and make positive steps ➡️ towards accomplishing your goals. 🌟 It is never too late to start over. 🔄

“Good things come to those who wait” (Unknown)

Geoffrey Chaucer once said, “Patience is a virtue.” Well, that may be true, but it’s a virtue that skipped right over me! 😬 To say that patience isn’t my strong suit is an understatement. Whether it’s the ADHD in me or the simple fact that I don’t like to wait (nor handle it well) ⏳, patience has just never been my thing. At least, it hadn’t been. Over the years, life has forced me into a standoff with patience, and there were some moments when patience won! 🏆

Speaking of patience, as my cousin would say, “Bring this baby home!!” I know, I know, I’ve been rambling on for too long, but that’s kind of my point, slowing down 🐢 and taking in life around you, Mindfulness IS a real thing, not just therapist speak, and it is crucial to your growth.

But here’s the thing: patience gives us a chance to think 🤔. When we act impulsively, we often can’t see the bigger picture 🧩. I’m not saying wait forever ⏳ to make decisions or take chances, because let’s be real, something better might not always come along and we’re trying to make change here! 😅

What I am saying is: be deliberate with your choices 🧐. Don’t just act on impulse. I’m strict about my “sleep on it” philosophy 🛏️💭. I always give myself at least the night 🌙 to let things marinate. If I’m still feeling it the next day (sometimes bigger decisions need longer incubation periods! 🐣) I take that as a good sign that it matters to me.

What’s my point?

If we go back to our girl, Baby (Dirty Dancing, 1987), she took so many chances and embarrassed herself (we all remember her carrying a watermelon 🍉), but she kept going. She didn’t give up when things got hard (though I bet she wanted to), and she kept looking for new opportunities and adventures (even though we were probably yelling at the screen at some of them). 😳

She was resilient and patient. And in the end, she waited for Johnny because she knew vulnerability wasn’t a one way street. He took his time ⏳, but finally came around.

And when her parents shoved her into that corner 🚪, she stood up and took a risk, parents be damned 💖. So, go ahead and take a chance….whether it’s in love, life, or just watching your favorite 80s rom-com. Be brave, be bold, and be like Baby: Go after what you want, even if it means dancing like no one’s watching. 💃💪 

"I’d love to hear your thoughts on this! 💬 How do you push past the fear of ‘What Ifs’ in your own life? Drop a comment below and share your story, whether it’s a time you took a risk, embraced vulnerability, or even just what’s holding you back. Let’s talk it out and support each other as we all take those next steps toward our new beginnings!" 🌱✨ And as always, don’t forget to sign up and subscribe for our email list 📨 so you don’t miss anything!

The Space In Between

Change. It’s a dirty little word.

That’s really what a new beginning boils down to, right? Change. And yet, for something that’s such a natural part of life, it still feels so scary. Why does it hold so much power? Why do we fear it so much? 😨

Change can feel like a choice that has to happen, whether we’re ready for it or not. But it’s the intentional change, that’s where the fear really kicks in. ✨ The realization that we want something different, something more, or even just that we can’t keep going as we are, it’s overwhelming. And the thought that making a change might lead to things going wrong; why does that feel so gut-wrenching? 🤯

“I think I’m just scared. Scared that I might still be nothing.” (Good Will Hunting, 1997). 🎥

Damn you, Matt Damon, you and your “How do you like them apples” type of therapy. 🍏 This is it, the fear of failing, of being seen as a failure, this is at the crux of  our dilemma. What if I try and fall flat? What if everyone sees? 😳 Or worse, what if I have to feel it? 💔

When did failing—or, to be more honest, the implied sense of failure—become such a bad thing? 🤔

I know what you’re thinking, and no, I haven’t lost my mind! 🧠 This is a serious question: Who decided failing was bad? Or, even more so, what defines failing? Where is this failure measuring stick? 📏 I’ve never seen it.

I mean, if we look at it objectively, failing and succeeding must be on the same scale, with the assumption that most of us consider one side to be “good” and the other side to be “bad.” If that’s the case, what’s all that space in between? 🤯 It must be important, right? Dave Matthews sang a whole song about “The Space Between” (which is now it’s stuck in my head), so it has to be something. What if the space between was something to be admired rather than dreaded? 🌱

Why do we overlook “the space in between” when trying something new?

To be a master at anything, they say you need to devote 10,000 hours ⏳ of experience and energy into any skill. So, if we look at that dynamic, are all the 9,999 other hours considered failures and a waste of time? 😬 But if we’re spending those hours perfecting our skills and learning, aren’t we growing and getting better every single hour? 📈

Why do we let our investments in ourselves sometimes feel like we’re “sucking”? 🤷‍♀️ A professional athlete can take decades to become a “professional.” Does the fact that they aren’t a professional during some of those hours of mastery, prior to becoming “great” mean they’ve somehow failed? Aren’t they still better than the average person? Does that mean they’ve succeeded or failed? And who gets to decide this?

The thoughts that hold us back:

So why does the process of learning and growing feel like failure? 😕 It’s these limiting beliefs, the fears, the “I’m not good enough” thoughts that can take control and keep us stuck. How many times have you let the “What ifs” spiral you into doubt? 🤔 What starts as a genius idea 💡 quickly becomes a slop bucket 🪣 of reasons why you’re not adequate enough to make it happen. That bucket of self-doubt is DEEP. It’s got everything from “Remember that time at 6th grade camp when you sucked at wrapping yarn around those popsicle sticks?” 🎨 to “Who would even want to hear what I have to say? 🗣️” Those thoughts haunt you 👻. And let’s not even talk about bringing others into your ideas, because they WILL have opinions. 🙄💭

Flowers grow in the space in between, why can’t people?

Tupac Shakur once talked about a flower growing out of concrete, which some might consider an enigma. However, we could consider it evidence that growth happens in that space in between. 🌸 Not to sound cliché, but there’s so much beauty in growth, and we, as humans, are often so busy completing our to-do lists 📋 that we rarely, if ever, stop and look back to see where we started, appreciating how far we’ve come.

How can we be proud of ourselves if we don’t look at what we’ve overcome? 🤷‍♀️Reflection is not just something that happens when you look in the mirror. 👀 It’s an opportunity; it’s a chance to evaluate and determine if you’re on track, if your goals are obtainable, or if you need to change direction. Reflection comes from checking into your progress 📈, being honest with yourself, and adjusting. Discovering things aren’t working out as planned, needing redirection, or even starting over doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re learning. 🎓

Einstein defined insanity as trying the same thing repeatedly expecting different results. 🤯

I’ve named dropped some famous names today. You know what’s interesting? You know who they are, you’ve heard their names before. And guess what? You know their names because they’re amazing, but at one point in time, they too had a new beginning. 🌱 They took a chance. 💥 And guess what else? They all also “failed” or had setbacks at some point in time before their big successes.

So, get to the point already! Besides the point being be like Einstein, obviously! 🤓

Where is this going? Well, the painful truth is that at some point, we are all going to “fail” whether it’s in our own eyes or someone else’s. We’re going to fail to be the best 🏅, fail to immediately succeed 🏆, or even fail to begin 🔴, It’s inevitable.

But reframing how we view those feelings of failure, whether it’s the reality or the implied sense of itthat’s the key 🔑. It’s what we do with the knowledge we’ve learned from it that determines our growth 🌱, our success 💪, and how we feel about ourselves 🧠. In those dark moments of feeling like we’re afraid of our new beginning or starting over, I challenge you (better yet, you should challenge yourself) to look for your flower in the cement 🌸. Look for your growth. 🌱

Don’t let the negative ruin your reflection 🪞. There’s always a flower in the cement, sometimes it’s hard to find 🔍, and sometimes you have to pluck a seed out 🌱 and start brand new. But at the end of the day, your new beginning is simply waiting for your sunshine ☀️.

Let me know how this resonates with you.

In the comments, share how you have reframed some of your limiting beliefs or reflected upon some aspects or choices you have seen through a new lens or a different light. 💬

New Beginnings

What is my purpose?

It’s a seemingly simple question, right? What do I want to be when I grow up? What do I want to do with the rest of my life? I’m at that age where, by now, I should have it all figured out, what I want, what my life is supposed to mean. But I didn’t. 🤷‍♀️

I knew I wanted more than the stale, redundant cycle I was stuck in. But it felt like I was running on a hamster wheel 🐹, staying in place but going nowhere. Sure, I was content in some areas, enough to keep my depression in check, but the parts of my life that truly challenged me, the parts that define me as a woman, an individual, not just as a mom or wife, those parts were harder to ignore.

I was a cliché, right down to the pumpkin spice lattes 🎃☕ and lover of all things true crime 🔍. Something about that just didn’t sit right with me (obviously not the pumpkin spice and true crime, I’m still human). I knew I wasn’t living up to my potential, but I couldn’t figure out how to change it.

What could I do? I wasn’t given many options for making life altering decisions. I still remember my mother saying, “We are who we are. We can’t change where we come from.” That hit hard. 💔 Because I didn’t care about where I came from. What I wanted was more for my future. 🌱

Favorite movie: You’ve Got Mail (1998), starring Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. 🎥

I know! I know! I’m showing my age here, but there’s something about the way Meg Ryan’s character portrays the fear of being forced into change, while gracefully doing the work to become... I don’t know... more. It’s always been so inspiring. And the phrase “bouquets of sharpened pencils ✏️” haunts me, because, really, is there anything more beautiful? (Okay, okay, I might love school supply shopping, and so what if office supply stores are my happy place?). Kathleen Kelly walking through the New York streets in the fall 🍂, with a style only Meg Ryan could carry off and still look adorable…..ugh, it’s everything.

This is it.

Why am I telling you all of this? Aside from you really should watch the movie if you haven’t seen it already! Because this is it! This is what I wanted: to be meaningful, to promote the idea of affecting others in a positive way, not forcing the change but being a part of the change. I couldn’t imagine anything better than helping others not feel so… well, pardon my language, but shitty 💩 about themselves, their lives, their past, or the lack of options for their future.

But how do I do that when I’m stuck on this damn hamster wheel 🐹?

How does one find themselves in middle age without any tools for change or personal growth? Without knowing how to become the person you always knew you could be? Well, I drank. Sometimes a lot and sometimes I couldn’t because I was hungover 🍻.

After a while, I was back on that damn hamster wheel again, but this time, I was becoming depressed 😔. I was sad. I didn’t know what to do. Everything hurt, and everything made me feel bad.

 

So, what does one do when nobody knows how to help them and it’s clear you’re lost?

I went to counseling 🛋️.

This is where my life changed.

This is where I learned I could be more too, even if nobody thought I could or believed in me. This is where I grew. 🌱

This is where my second chance, my new beginning, all started. I learned that I wasn’t a bad person, and there wasn’t anything wrong with me or my ability to succeed beyond those in my family tree. 🌳 This is where I learned I had trauma, experiences that changed my vision, my perspective, and the lens through which I viewed my life and those who interacted with me. 👀

This is where I learned that trauma caused me to feel less than. I wasn’t enough. I didn’t deserve more than where I came from. This is where I discovered that sometimes our mind lies to us, and I had no idea. 🧠

During my time in counseling, I decided this is what I wanted to do.

This is how I can help people not feel crappy about themselves like I did. I wanted to help people know that life can be more than okay or even shitty 💩, it can be beautiful. I know, color me shocked! So, at the ripe age of 40 years old and with two adolescents in sports (hockey 🏒… yikes! If you know, you know). I decided I needed to finish college and become a counselor. And after almost 30 years of simply wanting a degree to prove to myself I could, I did. 🎓 In fact, I got a couple of them. And I am using them to fulfill my purpose. I get to help be the change I was desperately seeking but didn’t know how to get. 🌟

Why am I telling you all this?

Well… remember my goals, my hopes, and dreams. I want to help you be the change you’ve always wanted to be. My hope, my goal, my vision is to provide you with a new lens, new tools to understand that you aren’t stuck—you have choices, you have opportunities. 🌟 It’s time to put that hamster wheel 🐹 away and start living… on your terms.

I don’t know everything, I can’t wave a magic wand and make all your dreams come true, but I can provide encouragement, hope, motivation, and help you feel seen and heard. Through my education 🎓 and experiences with counseling, I know I can’t help everyone, and not everyone is ready to step into a counseling or therapy office. So how can I help beyond my 25 hours of sessions every week? I needed a bigger platform, hence the birth of my blabbering on for 1000ish words (My AI friend, Sage, tells me don’t go over because you’ll lose interest!).

My blabbering on, or the Comfortably Human Blog, is about learning more about yourself, beyond the limiting beliefs our minds sometimes trick us into accepting. The truth is, we all deserve the space to explore who we really are and what we're capable of.

Comfortably Human isn’t just a name; it’s a journey. It’s about coming as you are, all the messy, beautiful parts of yourself, and staying as you grow 🌱.

Whether your story mirrors mine or not, if you're here because you're ready to understand more about yourself and others, I want Comfortably Human to be that space. A place where you can discover the person you truly resonate with, where you can embrace who you are and who you’re becoming. ✨

I hope to provide a safe space for your new beginning. 🦋