The One Where……

⭐ The practical guide for surviving the stuff you can’t skip

One of my favorite episodes of Friends every year was always their Thanksgiving one 🦃. Over ten seasons, they managed to cover every type of holiday chaos a human can experience. What always fascinated me, and honestly made me a little jealous, was their ability to create their own family. A family that did not always handle things in the healthiest ways, but somehow still gave every person a place to feel heard and seen. They felt loved. Not everyone gets that, and the truth is, that stings more than we like to admit 💛.

Then there is real life, where the holidays come with enough pressure to crack a full-grown adult. You are expected to be in three places at once, magically produce the perfect dish for each stop 🍽️, and act pleasant while you may be grieving, exhausted, or silently questioning why humans still gather in groups 🥴. Some people are doing all of this with children, who come with their own emotional seasons and their own opinions on snacks, shoes, and oxygen 😵‍💫.

Add the adult guilt. The pressure to attend every event. The frustration that shows up when you try to create your own traditions. The silent calculator in your head trying to figure out how to not disappoint six different branches of extended family. It is a lot, and most of us are just trying to make it through the holidays without sneaking outside to smoke Marlboro Lights in the bushes by the garage like we are still in high school 🚬🌲.

It is such an awkward dynamic. We look forward to these days all year long. We love our people. But life happens. Stress, conflict, emotions, depression, tight pants… all the things 😮‍💨. It makes it hard to stay present and enjoy the moment when Aunt Rose reminds you how much farther ahead in life your cousin Hilary is 🙄. So naturally, you make sure your husband is the one driving home and open the first bottle of wine you can find 🍷. You spend the evening sitting in the den with Uncle Dwayne, essentially talking to yourself because he did not turn on his hearing aids again. Two hours later you are tipsy, and your kids are hopped up on pumpkin pie and the epic Nerf gun fight that broke out somewhere between your third and fourth glass of avoidance 🎯🎃.

So how do we find a balance between TV and real life, when not everything is solved with sappy music and a thirty-minute time limit 🎬. The answer is emotional nutrition. At the end of the day, we all have moments where we do things we would rather not. That does not make us bad people or imply we do not love our family. It just means we are tired 😴. Sometimes going to a holiday function feels like Charlie Brown trying to kick that football again and again, leaving us questioning if we have another celebration left in us 🏈.

This is where emotional nutrition fits in. Emotional nutrition means feeding yourself what you need while you do the hard things. Think of it as emotional meal prepping before you walk into chaos 🥣🔥.

We see the chaos, we see the conflict, we see the moment someone storms out with dramatic music playing in the background. What we do not see on TV is the small, steady work it takes to stay grounded in real life when you cannot storm out because you rode with your sister and she already hid your keys 🔑.

Emotional nutrition is not about avoiding everything that stresses you out. It is about showing up in a way that supports your nervous system instead of sacrificing it on the holiday altar 🙏.

Here are a few ways to do that:

Check in with yourself before you walk in.
Take a quiet moment in your car 🚗. Close your eyes. Ask yourself what you are feeling. Annoyance. Tension. Hope. Dread. Whatever it is, name it. Think of this as warming up before the emotional marathon 🏃‍♀️.

Set a simple intention.
Not a Pinterest quote. Not a New Year resolution. Something like wanting to stay centered, wanting to stay kind without abandoning yourself, or simply wanting to leave feeling like yourself. This gives you a quiet anchor, so you do not get swept away by the chaos, or the opinions, or the side dish your cousin insists on calling a salad even though it is ninety percent marshmallow 🥗😐.

Portion your emotional energy.
You do not need to give every person the same amount of your attention. You are allowed to offer small servings to people who drain you and full servings to the people who feed your peace 💆‍♀️. Think of it like a holiday buffet. You would not fill your entire plate with the one casserole you hate out of obligation.

Strategic escapes are allowed.
Healthy coping is not glamorous. Sometimes it looks like standing in the bathroom staring at the wall for one whole minute 🚽😐. Sometimes it is helping in the kitchen. Sometimes it is stepping outside for fresh air 🌬️. These tiny exits keep you in your window of sanity.

Use micro resets throughout the day.
A slow breath. A sip of water. A grounding moment with the dog 🐶. You do not need a whole routine, just ten seconds of reconnecting.

Lower the performance pressure.
You do not need to be the perfect host, the perfect guest, or the perfect parent. Humans get tired. Humans get overstimulated. Humans get annoyed when someone brings up politics or asks why your kids are not in more activities 😵.

Remember you are allowed to feel how you feel.
You can be grateful and overwhelmed at the same time. You can love your family and still need a break. You can look forward to the holiday and still crave space halfway through. Feelings can stack like leftovers in the fridge 🧊🧺if we don’t tend to them.

I know it sounds like I am saying, “Don’t let it bother you or you can do it,” like these moments are simple or easy. They are not. These are hard things. Sometimes they feel impossible. But doing hard things does not mean abandoning yourself. It means navigating them with awareness instead of white knuckling your way through. It means validating yourself, hearing yourself, and reminding yourself that even when everything feels out of your control, you are still showing up for you. You matter, and what you need matters too 💛.

So, if you find yourself doing the things you would rather not do, remember you are not trying to be the holiday version of Mary Poppins. Nobody is handing out awards for perfect behavior 🏆. You are allowed to take care of yourself while you show up. Sometimes that looks like taking a breath, stepping outside for a minute, or topping off your wine before the conversation shifts to Cousin Hilary again 🍷.

And if it all goes sideways, remember, Christmas is right around the corner and we can always try again then 🎄. And do not forget, there is bound to be an episode of Friends on when you get home, and who does not love seeing Monica dancing around with the turkey on her head 🦃😂.